


Forget Everything and Remember

by Miles_to_Hastings



Category: Persona 5
Genre: (well as far as Goro's concerned anyway), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Love at First Sight, M/M, Panic Attack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-20 15:08:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14896862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miles_to_Hastings/pseuds/Miles_to_Hastings
Summary: Goro comes to slowly, flat out on his back with no idea of how he got here. It takes a moment for his vision to focus, head feeling oddly fuzzy, before he makes out the boy crouching over him. Grey eyes, messy hair and concern written all over his face. He can't imagine a much better sight to wake up to, though maybe it'd be better if he knew this gorgeous boy's name...





	Forget Everything and Remember

The first thing that he’s aware of is the fact that he’s lying down on something hard. It’s not especially comfortable, though he does seem to have some sort of pillow at least. He can hear voices, some hushed and some not so quiet, but it's too much of an effort to untangle the jumble of words that reach his ears. Goro can't pinpoint exactly what it is but he can tell that something isn't quite right. He tries to think back, to figure out how he got here - wherever _here_ is - but he can't. It's all just a blank.

Groaning - feeling groggy - he cracks his eyes open, even though it takes more effort than it feels it should. His vision swims for a moment, the light blinding and too many colours hitting his senses at once. It's almost enough to make his head hurt although it's a distant sensation, his brain feeling like it's swaddled in cotton wool.

"Hey."

Suddenly there's a hand on his cheek, the intensity of the light easing just a little bit as a body leans over him, blocking it out. As Goro squints the details start to come into focus, the shadowy figure revealed to be a boy. A gorgeous boy, his brain is quick to correct. Intense grey eyes, messy black hair and relief written all over his features; he can’t imagine a much better sight to wake up to.

"Hi..." His voice sounds weird, coming out kind of croaky, and Goro cringes at himself. Definitely not the sort of first impression he wanted to make.

It doesn't seem to particularly bother the attractive boy, though, his expression seeming to soften. "How are you feeling?"

"I..." He has to think about that. While he feels not quite right that's a bit of a distant awareness, the rest of him seeming fine. "Okay, I think?"

"You think?" There's barely disguised scepticism in the way the boy says that, frowning at him. "You were... It looked bad."

"Did it?" Goro frowns, trying to figure out just what the boy is talking about. He tries to think back to before he woke up here on the floor - tries to _remember_ \- but nothing comes. No answers, no clues, nothing.

There _should_ be something there, he knows there should. So why-?

His confusion must show in his expression, the hand on his cheek coaxing him into meeting the boy's eyes. Definitely more concern than relief there now, clearly thinking something about this isn't right. "Goro..."

Before he can say any more, though, a rather louder voice cuts him off. “Oh, he's awake?"

Eyes more adjusted to the brightness now, Goro finally looks at something other than the boy, belatedly paying attention to their surroundings. It’s a fairly sizable room, lit by a variety of coloured neon lights and completely devoid of windows. The bright colours clash with the relative simplicity of the red and black patterned carpet, which seems to be littered with… playing cards. There’s a small crowd of people loitering a few feet away and he swears they must be some sort of cosplayers considering the way they’re dressed. Two of them have _tails_. It’s all seriously strange.

Goro frowns, only feeling more confused the more awake he gets. While he tries to think it’s not giving him any answers, only more questions. “What… is going on?"

It abruptly feels like all eyes in the room are staring at him. It’s a sensation that Goro really doesn’t like, making him all the more conscious of the fact that it doesn’t seem exactly safe here. And that girl is holding an _axe_ …

A girl with long orange hair, dressed in some sort of sci-fi getup raises a finger, just stopping short of actually wagging it at him. “A Shadow tried to get a sneak attack in on Joker. You pushed him out of the way and got yourself thrown across the room like a noob instead."

Half those words mean precisely nothing to him, his expression presumably blank because that really wasn’t much of an explanation from where he’s sitting. Well, lying. Belatedly realising how vulnerable he is like this, Goro goes to sit up, just in case talking to these people turns out to be a bad idea.

However, he only gets halfway up before there are hands on his shoulders, gently but firmly pushing him right back down. “You shouldn’t move."

“But, I-“ While he wants to protest Goro has a definite sense that he can trust this boy. Maybe that’s why he can’t hold back the question, even though he feels like maybe he should be playing along with all this. “I really don’t understand. How exactly would a shadow attack someone?"

Judging from the total silence that wasn't the natural question that he'd thought it was. The concern in the boy's expression only intensifies. They all seem to think he should know something about what's going on. Perhaps... that would explain why what he's wearing is similarly strange if he’s meant to be part of this odd group. Even though the white of his uniform _is_ rather bright compared to what anyone else is wearing.

“Was that meant to be a joke?” The blonde boy crosses his arms, all but glaring at him, as if Goro _wants_ to be so utterly clueless.

Before he can say as much, though, he’s beaten to it by his self-appointed guardian. “Something’s wrong."

One of the girls - fortunately not the one with the axe - comes closer, crouching down on his other side. While she frowns down at him it's not in an entirely unkind way, not nearly as intimidating as her biker outfit is no doubt meant to be. “Akechi-kun, do you know where we are?"

See, they all seem to know his name, so why can't he place any of theirs?

But that's not the question she asked and his mind isn't up to tackling more than one thing at a time right now. Looking around again, examining the room as best he can from his current position, Goro tries to dredge up the answer because he _must_ know this. Even if this place looks neither familiar nor entirely real... Why else would she be asking him that if he wasn’t supposed to know the answer? He can’t have just appeared here out of nowhere, after all, but… Much as he looks around it still feels like this is the first time he’s ever seen any of it. “…No."

There's something almost akin to worry that flickers in her expression, the girl taking her time to consider his answer or perhaps just to stall her next question. “Then do you know who we are?"

Again, it's clear that he's supposed to know the answer and Goro can't help feeling a little lost, voice dropping to an embarrassed sort of murmur. Not wanting to disappoint but having no choice in the matter. “I… don’t."

He can almost hear the way a few of them seem to suck in deep breaths, though he supposes that it’s a fair enough reaction all things considered. While the others start chattering again, figuring out what to do with this revelation no doubt, the boy simply frowns at him. And something about him _does_ feel familiar to Goro, a vague impression hovering at the edge of his thoughts but just that little bit too far out of reach. But surely if he’d met someone so striking before he couldn’t have forgotten about it?

“You don’t remember anything?” There’s an urgency, something almost desperate, that slips into his voice and Goro really does wish he wasn’t disappointing him.

He _tries_ , he really does. But it doesn’t seem to matter how hard he pushes, his memories remain as blank as ever. Shaking his head, Goro can't keep the frustration from bleeding into his words, because he _should_ know. “I’m sorry, nothing's coming back."

"Don't apologise." Seeming to realise that words aren't quite enough right now the boy reaches out, running fingers through his hair.

It's not exactly dignified but Goro immediately loses all will to object. He finds he rather likes being petted like this, relaxing in spite of the increasing buzz of frustration in his thoughts. While he's still confused it's hard to be too worried about that right now.

"What's your name?" The question slips out easily, embarrassing as it might be.

Still, the boy smiles. Even though there is a clear lingering worry lurking behind it. "It's Ren."

That's all? Goro's cheeks heat up, not sure what to do with the fact that they're apparently on first name terms. Just what are they to each other? Ren certainly seems to be the one most concerned about him, although he supposes that could just be thanks to the fact that it was on his account that Goro got injured. Either way, it creates a different sort of confusion for him, one that's less frustrating and makes his stomach do somersaults.

Finding himself too shy to meet those eyes right now, Goro tries to distract himself by tuning back into the conversation that's carried on amongst the rest of this strange group he's apparently a part of. Naturally, it’s just as baffling as before.

“Should we use an Energy Shower?"

“I don’t think that would help.” It seems that the girl in the biker gear is one of the senior members of the group, clearly mulling over the situation. "This doesn’t seem to be an effect the Shadow caused."

“He _did_ seem to hit his head pretty hard…” The redhead hums and at least she makes sense.

The blond boy shoots another unimpressed look his way, arms still crossed. Definitely not keen on him, then. “So, you really think he’s gone and lost all his memories?”

As if on cue they all glance at him again - as if that isn’t a question they already know the answer to - and Goro swears that will never stop being uncomfortable.

"This could be a problem." The tall one with the... katana sounds almost disinterested, though the word _problem_ says otherwise.

Something about this whole thing is starting to make Goro nervous, with the one exception they all seem to be rather… wary about him. Perhaps he was wrong to assume that he was a part of this group rather than some annoyance that has ended up on their hands. Or coat, in Ren's case.

Unfortunately, belatedly seeming to realise that he's very definitely listening to them, the group turn away and lower their voices, following the lead of the biker girl. Though that does at least mean that none of them are giving him odd looks anymore.

Ren is looking in their direction too, like he wants to say something, but he doesn't make any move to leave Goro's side. He seems to sense that he’s being watched fast enough, though, turning back to him with another soft smile that eases some of the knot of unease that's forming in his stomach.

"You really has us worried, you know."

Goro isn't sure whether Ren is simply saying that to distract him from trying to listen to the hushed conversation or because he really means it. He does know which he'd prefer it to be, though. What he most wants it to mean is that _Ren_ was worried, because that might mean...

"I'm sure that wasn't my intention." That's just a guess, of course, Goro can't be sure of all that much right now. Beyond the fact that he wants to run his hands through Ren's hair in return, that is.

Ren’s only response is a hum, probably in acknowledgement. There's still something in the way he's looking at Goro, though; an intensity that's almost intimidating. He only wishes he had some clue what it meant.

It's frustrating, feeling so out of his depth even though he knows he shouldn’t be. And it only gets more so the longer he tries and fails to push past the blank wall that seems to have set itself up in his brain. There must be _something_ there if he just pushes hard enough... Frowning in concentration, he closes his eyes and wills it to go away, trying to bring back just one memory, _any_ memory. All that succeeds in doing is making his head pound.

"Hey, don't strain yourself." Evidently, Ren is paying too much attention to his facial expressions. His voice is low but insistent, a thumb stroking Goro's cheek to coax him into opening his eyes again.

It's enough to make his heart promptly leap into his throat, fuelled by a rush of hope and something else. Would he be this flustered by something so simple if he had access to his memories?

"Joker!" Something decidedly short and furry breaks away from the huddle and bounces over. Either that's a remarkably good costume or... "What do you want to do?"

Do they all have these odd nicknames, Goro wonders. Just another question to add to the ever-growing list.

Ren makes a small sound of agreement. "We should call it a night."

Whatever response that gets Goro is far too busy staring at the... cat... creature to pay attention. What in the world _is_ it? It definitely just talked but at the same time it looks rather like a large plushy that’s come to life. Just when he thought he was getting a handle on this bizarre situation he’s ended up in…

"Think you're okay to stand?" While Ren smiles there's an ill-disguised trace of worry tugging at the corners of his lips. Like he's ready to scoop him up rather than let him walk.

Which is not something Goro likes the idea of, even if it would be a good excuse to get nice and close to Ren. "You're the one who insisted on me staying down."

"Can't be too careful, you know." He grins, holding a hand out, hopefully with the intent of helping him up.

Ren's grip is tight and he doesn't let go even once Goro is definitely on his feet again. Waiting until it’s clear he isn’t about to collapse or anything. Which, mercifully, Goro _doesn’t_. He doesn’t need to remember anything to realise how embarrassing that would’ve been. Besides, he has the feeling that he’s already made enough of a scene of himself for one day.

For just an instant Ren squeezes his hand before he lets go, bending down to retrieve his crumpled up coat. He slides back into it with a fluid ease, taking a moment to straighten it, then reaches up to pull his mask back into place. “Just stick close to me, okay?"

Although the suggestion is undoubtedly meant as a reassurance it only reawakens a sense of apprehension within him. There’s probably a reason they all seem to be heavily armed, after all, and there’s a sort of… malicious feel to this place. Something tells him that getting out of here might not be as easy as he’d like. Glancing around at the rest of the group, all clearly ready for a fight, Goro can only hope that he won’t turn out to be too much of a liability.

-

The Palace - a term the furry thing tells him - only seems stranger the more he sees of it. Some sort of lurid casino, it makes his head hurt. At least Goro doesn’t struggle too much with walking, while he still feels a bit dazed he can manage that just fine. The climbing, on the other hand? That’s a bit more of a challenge.

Ren never seems more than an arm’s distance away, though. Not _hovering_ per se, but he’s certainly being rather attentive. Always ready to offer a hand the instant Goro seems to struggle. He supposes it makes sense, though, seeing as he was the one that Goro had apparently taken the hit for. So he probably feels at least partly responsible for the situation.

Maybe that’s why Ren's smile doesn’t quite seem to reach his eyes.

When they finally make their way out of the building - via _the roof_ \- it’s a welcome relief. More than just his lack of memories, something about this all is bothering Goro. It really seems like every time he glances at one of the other members of the group that they're in the process of looking away. There's a sort of lingering tension in the air, little talk beyond the odd comment on Shadows. And maybe it's just that they're annoyed at him for getting hurt but... he's sure there's something he's missing here.

Something that seems a little clearer in the way the blond boy - Skull, he thinks - crosses his arms and frowns at him. "So, what are we gonna do about this?"

"I'll watch him." There isn't even the slightest hesitation, Ren's expression set, offering no room for argument.

"Are you sure that's-"

"It's fine." Ren promptly cuts the question off, although that doesn't stop Goro's mind completing it. The rest of them really don’t seem to have the highest opinion of him. "He'll be safest with me. I've got the space and Morgana’s an extra pair of eyes."

Very much aware that he’s being considered a problem - an _unwanted_ one - Goro shifts awkwardly. This doesn’t feel good and it’s bothering him. "Oh, that's not necessary..."

The look Ren fixes him with is distinctly unimpressed. "Can you even remember where you live?"

Caught out, Goro blushes. "Well no, but..."

"You could have a concussion." The biker girl - Queen - spares him the embarrassment of trying to dig himself out of that particular hole. She folds her arms, radiating a sort of stern concern. "We can't leave you alone."

Of course, that makes sense. Head injuries are tricky things, naturally. After all, the memory loss might not be the only damage and it’s better to be safe than sorry, isn't it? So Goro has to concede, nodding, even if it’s not really _such_ a bad thing, considering.

Naturally, Ren pounces on the least sign of his agreement, considering the matter settled. “It’s late, we can talk more tomorrow.”

There’s a general murmuring of agreement, even though Goro gets the sense that this won't be the last of the matter. Nobody seems entirely sure what to make of his lack of memories, himself included. Though, he supposes, there’s always the chance that he’ll remember everything after a good night's sleep. He’s probably still just confused thanks to the hit to his head, it’ll wear off soon.

Ren, at least, seems to be quite content to take charge of him. Makes sense for the group’s apparent leader. With a firm hand on the small of his back, he shepherds Goro away from the group, most of whom seem to be hanging back to talk some more. Nobody else is in quite such a hurry to get home, then. He hopes he’s just reading too much into it.

In the time it takes Goro to glance back the world suddenly distorts around them. The way everything seems to swirl and morph makes him feel vaguely nauseous, slightly afraid that he’s about to pass out again. Maybe that hit to the head did more damage than he’d initially thought? But then it passes, in the space of seconds, even as he staggers.

Not that there’s any risk of him falling, with the way Ren’s hand is instantly on his shoulder, steadying him. “Okay?"

“Yeah, I…” The nausea eased as fast as it came, even if his head throbs a little. “Everything just went a bit…"

“Swirly?” The redhead - Oracle, was it? - chimes in. It’s honestly a pretty good description if a bit vague.

Looking at her again, Goro blinks. Her outfit’s completely changed, the goggles and the neon replaced by headphones and a thick green coat. And… glancing around he realises that everything’s changed. It all looks _normal_ with no sign of that monstrous casino. His own clothes have turned a little more… muted too, which is something of a relief.

“Sorry, that must’ve been disorientating.” The hand on his shoulder squeezes just a little. “We’re back in the real world now."

“Right.” It seems best to just act as if it all makes perfect sense for the time being. And hope that everything will become clear again later.

For the meantime, Goro simply contents himself with taking in Ren’s new look. The glasses make him seem more closed off, his school uniform not quite as suited to him as his other outfit. And, in the school bag slung casually over his shoulder, there’s a cat. An actual living, breathing _cat_.

“Why is there-?”

"Hmm?" It takes Ren a moment to figure out what he was going to say, following his gaze. "Oh, this is Morgana."

Less of a monster cat in reality, then, even though something about those bright blue eyes still unsettles him. Although, really, there isn't all that much that _isn't_ unsettling right now. Other than Ren's hand still lingering on his shoulder, that is.

"Come on, I'm sure you need to lie down some more."

Mind not to be changed, Ren promptly steers him in the direction of the subway station. The girl trails along behind them with a grin on her face, like there's some sort of joke he isn't privy to. Probably better not to ask. Or to think, really.

Letting Ren guide the way, Goro ignores his lightheadedness in favour of observing everything around him instead. None of it looks familiar. He tries not to let that bother him, even as he examines the subway map and can't begin to figure out where they are. Well, he definitely wouldn't have stood a chance at finding his own way home. Wherever home even _is_.

Fortunately, the train they catch is mostly empty, it doesn't seem to be a busy stop at this time of night. Goro's grateful for that, although he's not entirely sure why the lack of other people is such a relief. Naturally, Ren makes sure that he sits down, patting the seat beside him insistently. The girl - Futaba, she insists - takes a seat opposite, pulling out her phone and pretending not to pay attention to them.

Once he sits, though, a powerful wave of exhaustion hits him. It leaves Goro as tired as if he hasn't slept in days and it seems to come out of nowhere. Keeping his eyes open suddenly seems like too much of an effort to be bothered with. After all, there's nothing really to look at on the train. Not unless he planned to turn in his seat and stare at Ren, that is.

While Goro intends to lean his head back gravity doesn't seem to agree with him. Again. Or maybe it's the firm arm that wraps around his shoulders. One way or another he ends up leaning sideways, head finding a relatively soft pillow on Ren's shoulder. Maybe if he wasn't so tired he might apologise but it's hard to care about whether he's being too presumptuous right now.

All too easily he starts to drift off, lulled into a doze by the movement of the train and the warmth of the body next to him. Vaguely he's aware of a click, a snicker, hushed voices and the way the arm around him tightens just slightly...

-

Eventually - after the journey passes in a blur of vague awareness and unfamiliar places - they end up in the backstreets of a rather run-down suburb. When Ren stops him in front of some sort of cafe Goro frowns. Does it seem familiar to him or is that just wishful thinking?

"And we're home."

Home? A cafe? That seems... unusual. Still, it seems rude to question it so Goro simply nods instead. For now, that's a good enough rule to live by. Just to be on the safe side.

Ren doesn't seem to expect any more of an answer, already moving to unlock the door. Futaba, on the other hand… She’s still wearing that same, almost ominous smirk on her face as she glances between them, hands clasped behind her back. _Knowing something._

“You two have fun~” She accompanies the words with a cheerful sort of wave, far too happy about whatever it is.

As Goro watches her disappear down the alley, humming to herself, he can’t help feeling slightly uneasy. He’s missing something, clearly, but _what?_ It’s not as if he can just ask either because he’s almost certain not to get the real answer… He can only hope that some sleep is all he needs to get his memories back.

“Don’t worry, she just likes to tease.” There’s a fond smile on Ren’s face as he holds the door open. Clearly, he’s on fairly close terms with Futaba. “Now come on, before you catch a cold as well.”

The scent of coffee and… curry hits him the moment he crosses the threshold, that sense of deja vu tugging at his thoughts again. That’s all it is, though, even as he takes in the sight of the cafe. While there’s a sort of familiarity to the chunky yellow telephone, the painting on the wall and row of chairs in front of the counter it’s only fleeting, not solid enough for him to hold onto. It’s frustrating, in spite of the rather calming atmosphere of the cafe.

Wanting to plug at least some of the gaping holes in his knowledge, even as he tries not to seem too confused, Goro turns back to Ren. “You really live here?”

“Upstairs, yeah.” There’s something a little sheepish about the way he shrugs, almost as if he’s ashamed of it. “It’s… a long story.”

And it's one that Goro should already know, no doubt. There's no point taking the time to explain it all again, he supposes he can wait for his memory to come back and give him the answers. It's hard being that patient, though. Goro gets the feeling that he's not used to being at such a disadvantage as this.

"At least you don't have to go far for coffee."

That makes Ren chuckle, a genuine smile spreading slowly across his face. "It's not a bad perk."

As soon as he's done with locking back up, Ren is suddenly close again, enough to make his thoughts screech to a halt. It only gets worse when warm hands find their way into his own. Goro isn't at all sure what he's supposed to make of it or if he's even supposed to find this anything special in the first place.

"C'mon, time to rest."

He doesn't have the capacity to question it as the other boy leads him towards the back of the shop. Goro's thoughts are still stuck on the fact that his hands are being held. There's a staircase tucked away in the shadows, one that shows its age in the way it creaks underfoot. This place really doesn't seem like a living space, especially not when he realises that there's no door separating the floor above from the cafe below. As much as he wants to ask, though, Goro bites his tongue. There's more important things to be worrying about, like the way Ren releases his hands as soon as they reach the top of the stairs.

While Goro is undeniably disappointed - far more so than he has any right to be - he doesn't protest. If Ren doesn't see anything significant in holding hands then he shouldn't either. The other boy must just be a tactile person. That and he was probably afraid that Goro might keel over again if he tried to climb the stairs alone.

Depositing his bag on a nearby table - Morgana promptly spilling out - Ren busies himself with dragging a large cardboard box off a shelf. Rather than simply watching him - that would be rude - Goro glances around at what apparently counts as his home instead.

It surprises him just how dingy the upstairs actually is, the attic space only really a bedroom in name. In fact, he’s pretty sure that the bed is really just a mattress sat on top of some old packing crates. The more he sees the more strange this living arrangement of Ren’s seems to be, and it really does feel like the longer he goes the more unanswered questions he picks up. Most people’s lives can’t be this confusing, surely?

But the room presents Goro with a rather more urgent question, one that quickly overshadows all others. Where exactly is he supposed to sleep?

There's just the one bed - well, mattress on boxes - and it's definitely not big enough to share. Not without ending up _very_ close together anyway. Besides, Goro doesn't want to intrude, even if bringing him here had been Ren's idea in the first place. He might do better to limit his exposure anyway, the thought of sleeping in Ren's bed both incredibly tempting but also quite embarrassing.

Having spent more than enough time lying on the floor today Goro supposes the old, slightly narrow sofa will do well enough. Still, he finds himself feeling increasingly nervous about being here, not knowing how he really ought to be acting.

"Here." Finally done rummaging through the box, Ren returns to his side and offers him a pile of slightly crumpled clothing. "You shouldn't sleep in those clothes."

Sleeping in Ren's clothes? The suggestion flusters him more than it should, Goro taking the smallest of steps back. "Oh... No, that's okay. I don't want to be any trouble."

"It's no trouble." There's a sort of fondness in his smile even though he doesn't budge. "I'd be more troubled if you didn't."

It's only becoming more obvious that Ren is a stubborn one, his insistence gentle but firm as he presses the clothes into Goro's hands, leaving no room for arguments. Reflexively Goro pulls them to his chest in spite of himself, because they feel soft and the idea of fresh clothes really is appealing. Still... He bites his lip and glances around, keenly aware of the fact that the attic is all just one open space.

"Where should I..."

"It's okay, I won't look." Ren is already walking away, presumably to get changed into his own nightclothes.

Although that doesn't _entirely_ put Goro at ease he doesn't want to be ungrateful or to suggest that he doubts Ren. They're clearly not strangers and it's not as if they're even alone, Morgana perched on a nearby table and watching him. He still can't shake the feeling that it's not so much concern as something else that has those blue eyes trained so intently on him.

Knowing better than to try and get the cat to stop looking - self-conscious but not quite enough to make a scene - he sets the borrowed clothes down and starts unbuttoning his jacket. Goro only shoots one look in Ren's direction, just to check that his back is still turned. Unfortunately, it turns out that the other boy is now _also_ in the process of undressing and Goro has to quickly avert his eyes, cheeks burning from the sight of exposed skin he'd accidentally caught. He's certainly not going to be forgetting _that_ in a hurry.

While he makes an effort to get changed as speedily as possible Goro slows as he examines himself, finding it a little odd that there doesn't seem to be as much as a scratch on him. Even though by all accounts there should be more damage, considering he was apparently thrown quite violently across a room, the only injury seems to have been to his head. At least the world stays fairly still when he tugs the borrowed t-shirt over his head, trying not to focus on the fact that the fabric seems to smell faintly of its owner.

Ren's clothes turn out to be much comfier than his own, although he supposes that isn’t such a surprise when comparing a uniform to lounge clothes. He has little doubt that the t-shirt doesn’t flatter him, white and baggy with a few black stars emblazoned on it, but he supposes it's pointless to worry about that. It's not as if he has any other options here.

Not daring to turn around again, not until he's _sure_ Ren won't be in a state of undress anyway, Goro occupies himself with folding up his discarded clothes. The action is as much a reflex as anything, he gets the feeling that this must be part of his routine. He's relatively neat then...

"Can I turn around yet?" Ren's voice comes from the other side of the room, a good sign that he’d stuck to his promise. Though that doesn't necessarily mean he isn't already watching Goro's turned back...

Shrugging, willing to trust him, Goro sets his neatly folded pile of clothes to one side and finally chances another glance. "I'm decent."

When he turns Ren is already there, seeming to have a thing for spending time in his personal space. It's impossible to tell what’s going through Ren's mind as his eyes give Goro a once over. He really has an excellent poker face.

At a disadvantage, Goro finds himself squirming, pretending to glance around the attic again instead rather than risk meeting his eyes. "So, um, thank you. For letting me stay here."

"Don't mention it." Ren shakes his head, not interested in thanks. “It’s the least I could do, seeing as you're only like this because of me."

Goro blushes, wishing he could remember actually doing that. It feels wrong to take credit for something he has no recollection of. Besides, it's still his own fault for not managing to avoid injury in the process.

"Next time don't get yourself knocked out, though." Morgana still sounds disapproving, he doesn't seem to be planning on forgiving Goro for getting himself hurt any time soon.

His laugh probably doesn't do much to hide his lingering unease. "Who says there's going to be a next time?"

"Don't worry, I'm not planning on letting you do that again." Is it his imagination or has Ren edged even closer? "Besides, next time it might be me saving you."

Something about the words feels off, almost like he's being serious rather than just joking. Now that Ren's taken his glasses off his eyes seem more intense again, even though his small smile remains unreadable. God, he's gorgeous. All Goro can think about is wanting to kiss him, to have those warm hands back in his or maybe just have his arms wrapped around him.

Surely he's supposed to say something to that - like objecting to the fact that he needs saving - but words have temporarily deserted him. Just like his memories. Memories which just might've let him know how bad of an idea it would be to lean in...

Before he can do anything stupid, though, Ren effortlessly breaks the moment. "Speaking of... time to get you lying down again."

Taking hold of Goro's shoulders he promptly steers him in the direction of the bed. As if that's the obvious arrangement here.

"Oh no, I couldn't-" Instinctively, Goro argues, attempting to turn around and make a break for the sofa instead. As the guest he definitely shouldn't kick Ren out of his own bed. Besides, who knows what his subconscious might do with it...

"You keep saying that..." Ren cuts him off with a sigh, entirely discarding Goro's attempts at being a courteous guest and minimising the disruption he causes. "You _can_ and you _will_."

With that he gently but insistently pushes down on Goro's shoulders, forcing him to take a seat on the mattress. Ren must feel that it's his duty of care to give up his bed, refusing to let Goro get back up in spite of his protests. So stubborn...

"Honestly, I'd really rather sleep on the sofa."

"Trust me, you wouldn't." Ren fixes him with a patient look, apparently willing to stand here all evening and knock down any objections. "Besides, we don't want to aggravate your head injury, do we?"

That's a fair point, one that Goro struggles to think of a counter for, his pause inevitably being taken as a signal of defeat.

Still, it's hard to hate that smirk even when it's at his expense. After all, it really does suit Ren. "Now are you going to lie down or do I need to do that for you too?"

That's enough to make Goro frown, not willing to let this injury rob him of any more of his dignity. "I can manage that on my own, thank you."

"Go on then. Rest." While Ren withdraws his hands he still stands there, watching him expectantly.

The scrutiny makes him feel even more self-conscious about lying down in this bed that isn't his own. But clearly Ren isn't going to move until he's done as he's been told, until he's proved that he doesn't need assistance doing something so simple. So, with a put-upon sigh, Goro pulls back the blanket and lifts his legs onto the mattress. He pointedly avoids looking at Ren as he settles himself under the blanket even though he does resist the urge to lie down facing the wall. That feels a little too ungrateful for his liking, he doesn't want to end up pushing Ren away, that's the exact opposite of what he wants...

"Comfy?" The question snaps him out of his thoughts, finding that the other boy is looking down at him with a rather fond expression.

Goro nods silently, words temporary deserting him out of embarrassment. That and he's trying to resist the urge to inhale the scent of Ren's pillow, that would _definitely_ be crossing a line.

"Good. Now don't even think about getting up again when my back's turned."

Much as he might want to protest the implicit accusation Goro has to admit that it's not wholly inaccurate. If he thought it would convince Ren to let him take the sofa instead then he would already be back up. Still, he _is_ comfortable here, much more so than he had been lying on the floor earlier, and what's left of his energy seems to be draining out of him fast.

He catches himself by surprise when he yawns, although it's only a small one and he quickly slaps a hand over his mouth. Goro is painfully aware of just how stupid he's making himself look in front of his attractive host. "Sorry."

Ren only smiles at him, though. "Don't worry about it, spending time in the Metaverse always wears us out."

If he's this tired as well then... "Are you sure-"

"I can sleep on the sofa, it's fine." Ren easily waves the question away, able to guess exactly what Goro had been about to suggest. After a thoughtful pause, though, he arches an eyebrow. "Unless you wanna share?"

_Share?_ Immediately heat floods into Goro's cheeks and he only narrowly resists the urge to pull the blanket up over his head. No, sharing is _not_ a good idea. He'll die of confusion and embarrassment and maybe something else. If he knew exactly what their existing boundaries were it wouldn't be so bad. If he could just remember then he'd know there wasn't anything to it. Just pragmatism or teasing... or both.

Either way, he’s sure he wouldn't be able to handle it. "I... um... there's not really much space..."

"I'm sure we could both squeeze in."

Squeeze in? Press right up together under the blanket? No no no. Just the thought alone is enough to make Goro feel like he's about to combust. "I..."

"I'm just kidding." Ren snickers, as if suggesting that wasn't a terrible joke. As he turns to head towards the sofa he shoots a smile over his shoulder. "You're cute when you're flustered."

Any words die instantly on Goro's tongue. _Cute?_ It's another joke, of course, but knowing that doesn't change the way his stomach flips. And just like that he really _wants_ Ren to find him cute, even if it's embarrassing.

True to his word, Goro doesn't make any attempt to leave the bed. In fact, he just ends up making himself more comfortable, pulling the blanket tighter around himself and settling down. While he's finding it increasingly hard to keep his eyes open he can't resist watching Ren as he makes a bed for himself on the sofa. Something about him is just so hard to look away from.

Still, even with the spare pillow and blanket, that sofa doesn't look especially comfortable. It's almost enough to make Goro regret not agreeing to share the bed. Surely it wouldn't have been _that_ bad. Actually, it would've probably been quite nice, provided he hadn't combusted from embarrassment. Maybe...

The light flicks off, although it doesn't take long for his eyes to adjust to the relative darkness. He can still see Ren as he returns to the sofa, swiftly sliding under the blanket. Morgana's bright blue eyes are still clear from across the attic, the cat hasn't stopped watching him at all.

"Just let me know if you need anything, okay?" Ren's voice sounds further away in the dark, the attic seeming much larger without the light.

"Okay." It's more of an agreement for the sake of agreement than an actual promise. Goro doesn't have any intention of putting the other boy out any more than he already has.

Unfortunately, Ren seems to know him well enough to realise that, his frown practically audible. "I mean it."

Wanting to placate his overly attentive host he heaves a heavy sigh, giving in. "I will, Ren."

There's a long pause, Ren’s voice seeming a bit different when it comes. "Goodnight then, Goro."

His own goodnight probably comes out a bit muffled, the energy to work his voice all but gone as he starts to drift off into sleep. Perhaps he should be concerned about just how tired he seems to be, it wouldn’t be good if it was a side effect of him hitting his head. Honestly, Goro should probably be more worried about this whole thing than he is. Having his memories all knocked out of his head for however long can't really be a good thing, can it?

-

He's back in the Palace, eyes burning from the glare of the bright neon lights and ears filled with noise from the machines and the crowds below. Even standing far above it all, up above the light fittings, it's still so loud. Goro doesn't like this place - _he never has_ \- and he's alone here. Alone, a mask in place over his face and a gun heavy in his hand.

He can't remember why he's here, what he's supposed to be doing, even though he knows there is something. Something he has to do before he can leave this place. Goro knows he has to move, though, he needs to get away from the lights and the faceless crowds that only seem to be getting louder and louder. The noise is quickly turning deafening and he can't even cover his ears as he leaps onto the next platform, retracing the route he's sure leads to the outside.

As soon as he crawls into the vent, though, he realises that it's actually a corridor. Plain, grey and lit with colourless fluorescent lights. He likes it less than the casino, even though it's mercifully quiet. Dead silent. Except for a slow, distant drip, drip, drip. Goro walks towards the sound, footsteps muffled against the concrete until... His foot squelches, sinking deep into a thick liquid.

He looks down and sees red. _Blood_. Covering the floor of the entire corridor, rising higher with every drip, drip, drip. There's so much of it and then the solid ground under his feet is gone and he's sinking. Goro tries to kick his legs, move his arms, _swim_ but his body feels too heavy. Somewhere in the distance he hears his name but it's muffled as he slips beneath the surface, world turning a deep shade of crimson. Gravity is pulling him down, a sudden pressure on his shoulders forcing him further down into the sea of blood even as he tries to struggle and he can't _breathe_...

"Goro!"

His body jerks, trying to lurch up on pure reflex, as his disorientated mind struggles to process anything other than panic. Firm hands are on his shoulders, pushing him back down against the mattress and refusing to let him up.

"Shh, it's okay, Goro." The voice is softer now, even though the grip on his shoulders doesn’t ease. “I'm here. You're safe.”

Even though the feeling of being restricted still reminds him too much of being dragged down, of drowning in _all that blood_ , the soft words give Goro something to hold onto. _Safe_ , he’s safe. His lungs aren’t filling with blood and there are kind grey eyes staring down at him. Ren.

Goro forces himself to suck in a deep breath of air, heartbeat starting to calm down as he stops trying to struggle. He doesn’t need to escape, he’s not in any danger, it was all just a dream. An awful, terrible dream. That knowledge isn’t enough to change the way he’s shaking or how sick he feels right now, though.

He barely manages more than a whimper, not yet having the peace of mind to even feel embarrassed about the state he’s in right now. “Blood… there was… so much blood…”

“It was just a nightmare.” Now that he doesn’t need to restrain him one of Ren’s hands finds its way into Goro’s hair, stroking. Attempting to calm him through touch as well as words. “Try not to think about it, okay?”

That’s far easier said than done. Goro knows that if he closes his eyes the image will still be there, the sea of blood closing over his head and pulling him down into its depths. It felt so _real_ , all of it, even though it’s obvious it was nothing more than his mind tormenting him. Nightmares like that can’t just come out of nowhere, can they?

He can still _feel_ the sticky warmth of the blood against his skin. Like it’s still there.

When he holds his hands up to his face Goro can _see_ that there’s nothing on them, skin clean and pale, but it’s not enough. They feel unclean, _he_ feels unclean, and he has no idea how to make that go away. It’s not as if he can just get into a shower and scrub it all off...

“I… I _can’t_...” Goro’s voice breaks but he muffles it behind his hands, pressing them hard against his face. His breaths start coming faster again as he tries and fails to keep it all in. He needs more air. He needs to get rid of the feel of all that blood but he doesn’t know _how_.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Tugging him up, arms wrap around him, Ren’s voice close to his ear. “ _Breathe_.”

At first the shock of the move causes him to do exactly the opposite, air catching in his throat because Ren is _hugging him_. There’s a hand rubbing slow circles against his back and it’s all Goro can do to shakily inhale, face pressed against Ren’s shoulder. This feels important. Except maybe this is just what the other boy thinks he's supposed to do when someone’s turning into a whimpering mess in front of him. Maybe this simply feels less awkward to him than watching Goro lie there caving in on himself.

Either way, it helps.

Slowly but surely Goro’s breaths start to even back out, subconsciously syncing up with the way that Ren’s chest rises and falls against his own. Ren’s warmth and the way his fingers trace across Goro’s back give him a sensation to focus on, working away at the phantom feel of the imagined blood. While the images still linger vividly in his mind he finds himself feeling a lot calmer like this, even once he works up the courage to bring his arms up to hold onto Ren in return.

While he doesn’t remember all that much Goro is sure he could be content like this.

Still, the more his panic recedes the more a sense of guilt starts to creep into his thoughts. First he kicks Ren out of his bed and now he wakes him up in the middle of the night over a nightmare. Goro really isn’t making a very good impression, even if it's not a first one. While his voice feels steadier he doesn’t raise it to more than a mumble, not daring to look up yet. “Sorry for waking you.”

“You don’t have to apologise. You needed me.”

That may be so but Goro doesn’t like the idea of being a burden, which is really all he’s been ever since he regained consciousness in the Palace. Until his memories come back he’s just so… well, not exactly helpless but certainly close to it. Ren is basically babysitting him and that’s not what Goro wants.

He sighs, still so completely unsure how he’s really supposed to be acting around this impossible, beautiful boy. It wouldn’t do to step across any boundaries he’s forgotten about, though that doesn’t mean he can bring himself to make any move to pull away yet. “I’m not being a very good guest.”

"As if that matters." Ren snorts, unimpressed. “I just care about whether you’re okay.”

For whatever reason the words make Goro feel warmer inside, as if that's something he's been waiting a long time to hear. Not that he knows _why_ , his mind offering him nothing more than vague feelings, rising hopes and a lot of guesswork. That broken sleep clearly hasn't given his memories enough time to make any sort of reappearance.

“What are we, Ren?” The question is out of his mouth before Goro can stop it and, honestly, he’s glad to have asked it. Perhaps this isn’t something they need to talk about, a conversation that’ll be redundant just as soon as his amnesia goes away. But right now this is all too confusing without knowing and there’s only one way to deal with that.

As Ren hesitates, caught off guard by the question, Goro shifts in order to look up at him. It might be his imagination but the other boy might be the tiniest bit flustered. Encouraged, he decides to clarify, rather than back away from it as he might’ve otherwise done. “To each other, I mean.”

“I… uh… we’re friends.” Seeming suddenly quite uncomfortable, Ren avoids eye contact. As if answering such a simple question is somehow more difficult than dealing with a panicking wreck.

Goro's stomach is twisting itself into knots, although the nerves he feels now are quite different to the anxiety the nightmare had left him with. Ren’s hesitance gives him confidence, fuelling the hope that's been building from the moment he saw him, even though it probably shouldn’t. “You seem a bit unsure about that.”

“No, not at all.” This time there's much more firmness in his voice. “You’re my friend.”

That word again. While he does like it Goro still can't shake the feeling that it's not enough, that he at least wants to be something more than just a friend. So he raises an eyebrow, pushing the subject. “You cuddle all your friends like this?”

“Just the ones who give themselves head injuries for me.”

The way Ren smiles at him then is enough to make Goro's fragile courage fail. It's hard to keep playing along when he can feel himself blushing. Over a joke, no less. He really wishes he had more composure than this but he has all these feelings he doesn't know what to do with and he still doesn't know the context of his relationship with Ren. All that uncertainty can't help but make him nervous.

His blush seems to give Ren yet more confidence, meanwhile, the other boy seeming happier feeling like he's the one in control of the conversation. "You know, I never actually did say thank you for that, did I?"

"That's not necessary..."

"It is." Ren rubs the back of his neck almost nervously, words faltering. "I just... It um... It means a lot to know that you care that much."

"Of course I do." He doesn't know why he says it but, at the same time, he's sure that it's the truth. Goro has no doubt that he cares greatly for Ren, apparently more than he may normally show.

Such an easy answer seems to catch Ren off guard or maybe it's the assurance in the way he says it. It couldn't be that _he's_ turning a bit pink now, could it?

In the pause the atmosphere undeniably shifts, a tangible sort of tension creeping into the air. When the grey eyes meet his again it's with a fresh intent. "You seem very sure about that..."

Goro's increasingly aware of just how close the two of them are and just how much they're actually touching. That seems to matter a lot more now than it did a few moments ago. Air catches in his lungs again, like he's instinctively holding his breath for whatever might come next.

In the end, he's not sure which of them actually closes the gap, his eyes fixed on Ren's. Maybe it's both of them. Either way, their lips brush cautiously, just the ghost of a kiss. Both nervous, all of that earlier confidence gone. It's still enough to set his senses on fire.

So he wasn't getting his hopes up for nothing after all.

That's about all the thought Goro allows himself before he leans back in, keen to feel the way Ren’s lips fit against his again. That initial tentativeness quickly melts away, overshadowed by the need for more. It’s something that Ren seems to share judging by the way one of his hands finds its way to the back of Goro’s neck, keeping him close as one kiss turns into another and another.

After a couple of failed attempts Ren finally pulls away, cheeks definitely flushed now and breathing a little rougher. He blinks, something slightly nervous in the way his lips quirk up. "Hi..."

"Hey." Goro's smile comes naturally, albeit shyly, his stomach filled with butterflies. It's an exciting sort of uncertainty he feels this time, confident that this memory is better than any of the ones he's missing.

"That... was that okay?"

The question worries Goro for a moment before he realises just why Ren is asking it. Of course, it makes sense to be a bit uncertain about kissing someone who can't remember anything earlier than this evening. But just because he doesn't have all his memories that doesn't mean that Goro is any less certain about having wanted to kiss Ren.

"More than okay." Goro makes sure to make eye contact and not to let his voice falter so that it's clear he's being honest. "I wanted you to do that."

"Okay." Judging by the way he lets out a long breath Ren really seemed to need that reassurance. "You should really get some more rest, though."

Considering how worn out Goro still feels - that nightmare having only made it worse - that's not such a bad idea. Well, it would be a better one if it didn't mean having to let go of Ren. While his earlier panic is gone, skin no longer itching with the feel of sticky blood, he finds himself worried by the idea of going back to sleep. What if the nightmare just comes back, after all? He doesn't doubt that he's going to start thinking about it again without Ren's touch to distract him.

So maybe...

“Can you… stay?” Self-conscious, Goro finds his words coming out haltingly, the last little more than a wince and a squeak. Which is somehow all the more mortifying after what'd just happened.

Mercifully, Ren chooses not to comment on his bad delivery. “I thought you were never going to ask.”

Without any hesitation at all Ren settles himself down beside him, slinging an arm loosely over his waist but still leaving a bit of space between them. If it hadn’t been for all that kissing Goro's sure he would've found it a lot more distracting to have the other boy so close, his head resting on the same pillow and those eyes fixing him with another intense look. He wishes he knew what was going through Ren’s mind when he looks at him. More than that, though, Goro wishes he could remember everything he must know about this boy.

This would all be better if he could just _remember_.

“Stop worrying.”

The words catch Goro off guard, surprised that his expression was enough to clue Ren in to that. “I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.” Fingers brush his cheek, lingering. “I know that face. So either stop or tell me what’s worrying you.”

Really, he thinks he’s already bothered Ren enough for one night so it’s not much of a choice. It might be difficult not to worry but he’ll try, shuffling that little bit closer, making himself more comfortable. “Okay, I’ll stop.”

“Now relax.” The arm around him tightens, Ren smiling fondly at him. “I’ll be right here.”

It’s a simple enough reassurance but it makes the remaining tension leave Goro, his worries about the past replaced with an appreciation of the present. Even though he’s not sure how easy it’ll be to fall asleep again he’s more than happy to just lie here and be close to Ren instead. While there’s still the matter of the massive gap in his mind Goro doesn’t feel the least bit lost, sure that this is exactly where he’s supposed to be.

**Author's Note:**

> I seem to be developing a pattern of having Ren/Akira kiss Goro under the pretence of a thank you...
> 
> Also, be sure to check out the awesome art that goes with this chapter!  
> [Napping on the train by meivix](http://meivix.tumblr.com/post/174767301525/my-shuakeshubb-piece-for-milestohastings-super)
> 
> [Some steamy kissing by Satou](http://nyatou.tumblr.com/post/174760411886/an-illustration-i-did-for-the-shuakeshubb)


End file.
